healing in the face of state power

**originally posted June 8, 2015**

Yesterday I rode the Bart train with tears rolling down my cheeks. On my way to celebrate my spiritual sister's revolution around the sun and my heart was heavy. My soul sullen. My newsfeed that whole mourning was filled with the video of those beautiful Black teenagers in Texas being terrorized by racist state agents. Or the black man who was shot for sleeping in his car near Lake Merritt. My baby brother emails me asking me to send him a dictionary because just like Kalief Browder, he too awaits for three years now to go before a judge, and because in the jails there is nothing for them to do. He wants to read a book with me, we decide to start our own book club, starting with all about love by bell hooks. because i want him to begin to learn to get free, even tho this racist ass system has him physically imprisoned. I want him to learn how to get free. I was pushed over my limit with I read that Kalief Browder killed himself.

Filled with rage, sadness, desperation. I want all of us to learn to get free. Starting from the inside. Unpacking the trauma we carry from our ancestors, who were ripped and sold from our native lands, some who's souls rest at the bottom of the ocean, the trauma of our grandparents or parents who once again left our new native lands to try to live this false american dream. Only to carry the pains and tribulations from past into present into the future. Whenever my brother gets sent to solitary confinement, I panic. My family and I ensure, to the best of our ability, that his mental state is as good as it can get being in a fucking box for 23 hours/day. I am still trying to get him to meditate and to learn how to sit in his stillness and silence and his power. A different kind of power than the one we are taught is right from the colonizers. I want him to learn his own power to get free. I want ALL of us to learn to get free. I want ALL of us to unpack the layers to reconnect, realign with ourselves and with each other. So that we are so fucking strong and powerful, no fucking state sanctioned power can fuck with us.

you can read the New Yorker article HERE