Blessed full moon in Capricorn.
Coming off the heels of the summer soup cleanse program yesterday I sat with major heart palpitations and a rush of anxiety. I had my routine morning cup of café bustelo after three days of no coffee, no caffeine - just wholesome soups five times a day. It was strange. I didn't miss the coffee while cleansing therefore I wasn't expecting such a strong reaction to introducing it back into my diet. Yet, there I was sitting with a rush of super intense emotions and trying to listen to what my body was trying to tell me.
I began to reflect and connect. Reflecting on the ideas of cycles, rhythms, what Ayurveda deems 'crimes against your intelligence', and my own caring of self&Self. See, I left one teaching position so that I could carve more space into creating more offerings through Roots Healing and I was so excited about expanding our seasonal soup cleanses to offer more support and more insight. During the junction of the seasons there are major shifts in the surrounding energy, which makes us more susceptible to sickness. I had been ignoring my own internal dialogues, rhythms, cycles and shifts that I actually became sick two weeks ago. It made me SO excited about the cleanse and having the excuse to slow down and realign. My body was too – I slept for 15 hours from Saturday to Sunday, was moving slower and enjoying listening to the subtle messages from my body.
After so many years in the practice, even I fall off from time to time because I'm human and I make mistakes and I am not afraid to say that out loud. It wasn't always that way though, my internal dialogue around shame and failure made it harder to admit when I had fallen off track, which meant that getting back on track took longer. And that meant that dis-eases had more time to linger, grow, manifest.
The Bhagavad Gita teaches us that the path of yoga should be followed with:
And it is a line that I come back to time and time again. When shit gets hard, I come back to this line. When things feel mundane, I come back to this mantra.
So what was my body trying to tell me with the rush of emotions from that café bustelo that I couldn't even finish? Yesterday Mars stationed retrograde. I love learning and infusing all these ancient, earth based ways of understanding life. (side note rant:: Let me make this clear – understanding and honoring these systems does not mean we get to use them as excuses to avoid accountability of our own actions & responsibilities). Mars is the planet of energy and assertiveness. What was my body trying to tell me about my own energy and assertiveness? How am I feeding that energy in my body? Am I nurturing it or am I aggravating it?
Ayurveda teaches us that opposites balance, therefore if I have a lot of fire already inside in order not to blow myself up it's best if I nurture my internal fire by introducing cooling foods, thoughts, and activities. Coffee definitely aggravates.
Today we have the full moon in Capricorn. Capricorns are marked by their purposeful pursuit of their destiny. They are seen as the opposite sign/in polarity with Cancer, which is the sign the moon rules. So one could say that in the eyes of Ayurveda here we have a balancing full moon. ☺ The polarities of the signs meet in this full moon, offering us a chance to do what all full moons ask us to do – release the things that no longer serve, to rejoice in our accomplishments, to gather, to reflect.
The full moon comes conjuct Saturn (which means they are super close to each other in the sky & highly influencing each other). As Chani Nicholas reminds us Saturn teaches us “the importance of developing an incredible amount of patience along with a consistent and steady effort without regards to rewards or awards.” Sounds like the Bhagavad Gita right?
So :: Mars. Full Moon. Capricorn. Cancer. Saturn. Bhagavad Gita. Ayurveda. Soup Cleanse. Minerva what?
Cycles. That is definitely a constant. We can stay stuck in cycles that are detrimental to our health or with sustained enthusiasm and an incredible amount of patience we can find the balance and union we are all seeking. We can use the wisdom of the earth and the whole system to understand these cycles and where we are within them.
With the heat of the summer and of the fiery warrior planet building over the next couple of months, I am asking you to redefine power. How can we shift from the popular model of power that exists at the core of our oppressive systems, where it can be described as a "power-over" based on struggle and opposition between dualities where one side wins over the other side? This external definition of power is our internalized conversation of power. We are constantly trying to exert "mind over matter" or proving our strength in how well we suppress something.
What if we invited more of the moon energy into this definition of power. The word power stems from its Latin roots meaning "to be able" – what if we were able to let things move under the surface mimicking the ocean's tides – given that we are majority water, like the earth and that is what the moon rules anyhow? The shifting of the tides that occurs when the ocean meets the land to allow for transformation to naturally occur, internally and externally.
Under the full moon tonight, can you draw yourself a bath? Using organic, soothing dried herbs and essential oils for your full moon bath: elderflowers, lavender, lemon balm, lemon verbena, passionflower, raspberry leaves, rose petals and violet flowers. You can infuse fresh seasonal herbs too like basil and rosemary. After your bath, throw the flowers and herbs in your compost or somewhere in the earth – not the trash.
Sit with these questions for yourself:
- Where and how does shame show up for you when you make mistakes?
- How does pride get in the way of allowing you to see your mistakes for yourself?
- Is there a pattern?
- What are some ways you can commit to recognizing these patterns as they arise?
- And instead of going down the rabbit hole of moving further from your center state of health, what are some things you can do to help soothe the anxiety/shame/pride to get you back in rhythm?
- How can you recognize and speak with that internal dialogue sooner?
- How can you remind yourself of your humanity, every single day?
- What are habits that feed the imbalanced notion of power-over?
- And how can you take baby steps towards replacing those habits with ones that nurture the ebb and flow of your life/cycles/health/self/Self?
I mean, even Oggun needs sweetness in his life.